Let me just say "it is what it is"...it's my BIRTHDAY <----who does that..talk about there own birthday..of course someone like ME!! It's not just another year...its my BIG 3 0 WOW I can't believe I just shared that...but what the hell your all family & friends & we'll who cares life goes on...right!!
I do want to share though my feelings & thoughts about turning 30. It didn't quiet come into play till about 2 days ago...all i kept thinking was "where the hell did the time go" or "wow I remember when so & so turned 30 & now I'm turning 30" so much was crossing my little brain, even to the point of me almost crying..yea crying..what a BABY huh. Actually let me just justify the reason for the cry...ha...ha..cause it's my BIRTHDAY. No, but most of you know me & Jayy have not yet been blessed with our own kids yet, and that was something I told Jayy that I wanted when I hit 30 was to hopefully get pregnant. My birthday has come and I'm not pregnant, and then just a bunch of random, waste time thoughts came flooding in & I found myself sitting there thinking nothing but NEGATIVE thoughts...and then just like in the movies..lol...j/p Jayy popped in my head & I realized what the heck...there is sooooo much I have right now to look forward to...more memories with my husband, my health so when the Lord does see us fit to care for a little one I'll be healthy to do so, my family who I LOVE LOVE LOVE, and LIFE itself...so I STOPPED being a poopy head, and allowing my self think such dur thoughts & just accepted what was coming (my birthday).
So we went to bed lastnight about 10:30pm and sure enough at 12a.m. I hear this "Love, Love (my famous name Jayy calls me) and he leans over gives me a BIG KISS & wishes me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY" We found ourselves up and chit chatting for a little bit, and then knocked back out. Jayy felt so bad he didn't have his gift ready for me (and if you know him well...he can be so hard on himself about stuff like that it becomes annoying...i know sad that i say that) anyhow the texts, emails, phone calls all came in wishing me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and then walked into work and balloons, confetti, signs, and a BIG birthday card, brownies, snacks all prepared courtesy of my colleagues. THANK YOU!! As for being 30 and having so much still to accomplish, and putting more TRUST in the Lord that he will when he sees fit blesses me & Jayy with some lil ones...for now hell with the age because I can still ROCK it like I did when I was 18yrs old baby!! More years to come to live, learn, love and ENJOY with those you care for the most!!